I would describe my relationship as...

As soon as we came back from Cancun, my parents greeted us with wedding planning books. I dived into them immediately, and the first thing The Knot Book of Wedding Lists said was to remember that this is an event that needs to make a statement about your style as a couple. I immediately scoffed at such a notion and wrote it off as elitist to need to make a statement at a wedding, making sarcastic comments like, "Jesse, dahhhling, how would you define our style?" in my most awesome British accent (which TOTALLY sounds British... totally). So I initially laughed it off and went about planning our wedding in the way I would normally plan a party - figuring out where it would be, what we would be eating, how we'd entertain our guests, etc. Once I started answering these questions for ourselves, I realized, "Oh... we do have a style." I mean, isn't a party that reflects you the same as a party that reflects your style? (Which is just a less fancy way of saying what the Knot was pointing out). It made it a lot easier to make decisions about the wedding when I only chose things that fit our personalities, and it helped me feel secure about those choices.

So if you're having a hard time figuring out your "style" as a couple, start making a list of things you like individually and things you enjoy as as couple. You'll start to see a theme or feeling emerge from the list, and then you can start picking things in that point of view. Here's some questions to help you start:

1. Name activities that you enjoy doing on a regular basis.
2. What past event or memory is special to you as a couple?
3. What are some things you do for each other to show your appreciation?
4. Is there a place that is special to the two of you?
5. What are interests that you share?
6. Do you each have your own special hobby?
7. When people think of you as a couple, what do you think they'd say? What would people say about each of you individually?

Jesse loves poker, video games, fish crackers, reading, beer, and casual hangs with friends. I enjoy photography, dancing, live entertainment, hosting parties, and bright colors. Together, we love BBQ, Wii games, Halloween, SLO, hanging with family, and outings with friends. I immediately decided that we needed to have BBQ, beer, a fun color palette, and good entertainment on top of dancing. We basically wanted a party where everyone, including friends who knew no one there but us, to be able to feel comfortable enough to socialize and be an active part of the party in some way.

Another easy thing to do to help you figure out what you're like as a couple is to go through pictures of you together and see which ones really sum the two of you up.

My sister always laughs at Jesse and my clothing styles when we pose together. Jesse keeps it casual if at all possible and I find any excuse to dress up. He made it clear he was wearing a suit and not a tux at the wedding. I wanted a unique dress and fabulous shoes. Since those were so important to us individually, we just let each other have free reign over our own wedding attire. We also decided that we didn't want our bridesmaids or groomsmen to match to keep with the whole unique/casual clothing theme.

We LOVE theme parties. (Notice how NO ONE in the background is in costume).

That led us to decide on a casino-themed reception... with an actual casino :) The casino provided an alternative activity to dancing and served as an ice breaker, giving everyone a chance to meet new people, something I really enjoy making happen at parties I host. It also played into our overall casual/comfortable point-of-view (which we reinforced Goldfish crackers on our registry as well as Mariokart cupcake toppers). On top of that, my dad's big band fit in perfectly with the casino theme, and, aside from my wedding dress, that's been my only dream for my wedding since I was a little girl. More importantly, the whole thing screamed Jesse and Nicole.

So before you start planning, really talk about what makes you unique as a couple (remember, the groom should have input too! :P). Write it all down. Then, you can start planning a wedding that really feels like you - finding vendors who compliment you, shopping for attire that feels like you, picking readings that reflect you, and deciding on decorations that look like you. You can also start prioritizing all the wedding logistics. Maybe you want the party to reflect where you got engaged or where you had your first date; maybe you're foodies and want to plan a really unique menu; maybe you both really love the outdoors so the woods provides the perfect backdrop to your celebration. When you have to start making in/out decisions about all the things that can potentially drive you nuts, you can easily refer to your list (and not to anyone else's wedding plans) to see if it fits in with what you're going for. I promise it will help restore your sanity.

And since good things come in threes, here's one of my favorite pics of me and Jesse. (And let me tell you, he's a keeper - who adores someone that much when she wears a leopard coat to a Giants game? I mean, really)